Start Over
by elitemassacre6
Summary: The day after the fourth of July party that changed things between Quinn and Rachel the brunette shows up to her front door with a bouquet of flowers to take her on a not-date. Also some Brittana and Pezberry friendship. this is a sequel to my old Faberry fic Sweet Dreams. reading that may help but isn't necessary.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: It was suggested that I do a follow up for Sweet Dreams which is a Faberry fic I wrote quite a while ago. This is multichapter and I'll make sure to try and keep up at least as well with it as I do my pezberry/quinntana fics.

Rachel put on the big fake smile while she wrapped her knuckles against the Fabray's front door. It was a quarter to noon and she knew she was early. She'd always been taught by her fathers that It was important to arrive at least fifteen minutes before an important interview. strangely enough that's exactly what this felt like. Like a test against her ability to be a friend if that was what was going to happen. She'd spent the last six hours coming to terms with the fact that friendship was all she could even hope for. And she knew how many obstacles stood between her and even simple friendship.

Social status, her insufferable personality, Quinn's _actual_ friends...She felt even more pathetic than she had last night after she'd completely lost control of the situation and blurted out her feelings as if it was an emotional knife in her heart to keep them private any longer. She sighed, sighing as she inhaled the bouquet she'd stopped to buy. the mixture of yellow tulips, white jasmine, and gardenia was heavily symbolic and some of them had multiple meanings she didn't mean to present. She hoped that all together, Quinn could get the idea. Could understand what she couldn't say again. Rachel decided to explain them.

The star looked down at her vintage sleeveless dress and hoped she looked okay. The blonde she had been waiting a minute or so for was so effortlessly beautiful she often felt completely hideous next to her and Rachel didn't want to embarrass her.

The smile that made her at least _appear_ happy and confident stretched her cheeks even further when the door opened and Quinn stood there in a green sun dress with a pale off white cardigan tossed over her arm, purse in hand. Rachel could hardly think.

"Hey. Sorry it took me so long. I totally forgot I punched an idiot in the face last night. My hand needed some attention and I left it until the last minute. My hair was being ridiculous too, and I was just trying to make it look at least decent when you knocked. You're early." She raised her right brow, eyes finally locking on the bouquet in the shorter girls right hand.

"You're beautiful." Was all that would come out when she tried to apologize about being so early. Dammit.

"Um...thanks. You look good too Rachel. What's up with those?" She asked, her eyes that for the moment shone green locked onto the three types of flowers. She smiled softly when Rachel extended them towards her.

"F...for you. Um..the jasmine means amiability and modesty. And the gardenia expresses...in this instance, joy and beauty. The yellow tulip, I'm sure you know their traditional meaning. I know they're your favorite." Rachel blinked, breathing deeply to calm herself as she extended the flowers again.

"I do know what they mean, Rach. Thank you, these are beautiful. Let me drop them in the vase in the foyer. Would you like to come in?" Rachel shook her head, eyes widening a fraction. She didn't want to like, freak out over being in Quinn's house for the first time and embarrass her self any further. She stood at the open door while the blonde disappeared, glad she hadn't picked the red tulips also. She leaned her head against the door frame. God, she felt so pathetic.

"So where are we headed?" She stood up quickly.

"I thought it would be appropriate that we perhaps have brunch? It's the appropriate time and I know an establishment I think you will enjoy. They do traditional but also vegan so you can have your bacon and I my own my animal-free frittata." A pale brow rose as they walked to Quinn's car, sliding into the passenger side when Rachel opened the door for her.

"Thank you." No one had ever cared enough to do these things for her on a date, Quinn thought. Not that this was one.

"You are welcome. You deserve it."

"How do you have a frittata with no eggs? Isn't that like the point of the dish?" Q

"Traditionally, yes. I know people think it's strange that I stick to my veganism. I just abhor the fact that a living thing that god created should have to die just so I can have an unimportant meal. Perhaps it would offend me less if there was any balance maintained, any real need for it. But there isn't. People can and do live full, healthy, delicious lives without animal products." She said, pulling out of the drive way and heading down the road towards the restaurant in Westerville.

"How did you get into veganism anyway?"

"Actually my father's and I adopted it as a way to make staying kosher much simpler to understand and practice for me and my Daddy, Leroy who had decided to convert to Judaism when i was eight. I learned about the meat and animal product industry as a part of it and came to actually believe in abstaining from those things. I obviously still practice it now that they're gone." She said, glancing over for only a moment.

"Wait...gone, what do you mean? Where did they go?"

"They died, Quinn. Murdered as a part of a bank robbery in town last year. A month or so before the beginning of junior year. You don't remember hearing about it last year? In the news or from your mother or anything?"

"I don't really watch the news. It's honestly just depressing. And i try my best not to listen to anything that comes out of my mother's poisonous mouth. She only ever says hurtful things anyway. I'm really sorry about your dad's. I know how much you love them." She reached over and squeezed Rachel's free hand.

"It's okay. I am fine. And thank you."

"Wait, so if you were sixteen, what did you do, wouldn't they like make you a ward of the state or put you in the foster system?"

"Shelby happened. She took guardianship only long enough for me to get cleared for emancipation and then disappeared. At least I can thank her for being clear with how she doesn't feel for me. I don't even hope anymore. I know she doesn't love me. It makes things easy." She said, smiling in a way that all but broke Quinn's heart.

"But how do you support yourself? I mean I know you told me something about giving singing lessons to five year olds but I thought maybe that was for fun. You can really support yourself off of those six kids?" Realizing how alone Rachel really was heartbreaking. Not to mention realizing the kind of so called _mother_ Shelby actually was.

"It is fun. People often poke fun at and belittle teachers as if it isn't one of the most important careers in our society. You know what they say about Mr. Shue and Coach Beaste. Those that cannot do, teach? I don't believe that. And anyhow, I have another job tutoring some of those same kids, plus what was left from my fathers and the money they put away as a fund I gain access to this december." They were parking while she spoke, and it was only a few minutes before they were seated with and served iced tea. Their food came moments later and they both dug in.

Quinn, for her part, couldn't believe it. Rachel was alone completely. She knew how much the loneliness must eat at the smaller girl. She often felt alone and even though she honestly tried to hate her, having her alcoholic mother in the house made the emptiness lessen just a bit, no matter how pathetic it made her feel. Rachel didn't even have that.

"Rachel, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. There's nothing that can be done really. I mean, you did help though. Last night when you called me, sang to me. I felt like someone cared about me for a few moments. It was everything I've been missing. Thank you." Guilt and regret was heavy in her heart. Wasn't it her fault that Rachel had no real friends?

"God, I'm so sorry. If it wasn't for me, you would have friends to spend time with. Brittany has wanted to be your friend for years and it was me who forced her and Santana not to."

"Just stop okay. Enough with the apologies. I can see you're that you're hurt, realizing that you've been one of the caused of my pain, and seeing you hurting isn't something I like Quinn. Just...do what I do. Forgive yourself and let it go." Quinn sighed, biting into her last slice of bacon while Rachel paid the bill on their way out. For some reason, she let her. She didn't want to stomp all over the shorter girl's idea of this being a date. she wasn't completely sure it wasn't one herself.

"How do you do that? Forgive me?" She asked, her lip trapped between her teeth as they both slid in the car, Rachel didn't start it.

"Quinn, I love you and I have always believed in the type of person you really are no matter what you said or did. Forgiving you has always been as easy as having you smile at me when you thought I wasn't looking, or singing that duet with me, or for example getting that glee club page I wanted so badly."

"I don't understand how that can help me forgive myself though, Rachel."

"All I was doing was taking those actions as an unspoken apology. If you looked over at me with that...look in your eyes, then I knew you were sorry. So I forgave you." She smiled at her as she reached over to grab her hand, squeezing it firmly.

"I know it isn't as easy to forgive yourself as it is to forgive others, but you deserve forgiveness. Especially from yourself Quinn."

"I guess you're right. Thank you, Rach." The brunette nodded, finally starting up her car and pulling out of the parking lot, headed back towards Quinn's house.

"You are always welcome. Was there anything else you'd like to do while we're out? If, you know, you don't have plans." She asked, pulling hand back to somehow feel less vulnerable in front of the girl who could break her without even trying.

"I talked Santana into hanging out with me. I know she's still isolating herself and stewing in her heartbreak. If I let it continue, she'll self destruct, and I can't let that happen. I love her, you know? She's my best friend despite what people think. Anyway, I wasn't sure what we were gonna do. Watch movies and binge on popcorn probably. But my mother is home and I want no part of that unsurprisingly. She said something about her house being occupied by her little brother's party though so maybe we'll just go to the theatre at the mall." Rachel nodded, understanding the blondes worry. Although it wasn't as often as she caught herself observing Quinn, she watched both Santana and Brittany and could clearly see what had happened between them.

"Okay, I'll take you home and walk the few blocks back to mine. It's a really nice day." Quinn nodded, leaning back to relax in her seat. It was a silent ride, Rachel pushing play on the cd in the player to fill the air around them after a few minutes. Local Native's Cards and Quarters streamed out near the end of the song and Quinn's voice joined in.

"Steal away, you and me, to a cave made of sheets." She sang, her eyes closed and her pale hand extended out her open window to surf the wind. Twenty minutes passed before Rachel pulled into Quinn's driveway and parked. She got out of the car, wiping away nonexistent wrinkles and then smiling over at the blonde as she got out and came over, leaning against the hood.

"I'm heading home, Quinn. If you um...find yourself bored or without anyone else to hang out with do call me. I'd love to spend more time with you." Her smile showed off how nervous she was all of a sudden, and she sighed, both eager to flee and in contradiction to herself, stay.

"Wait...are you sure you want to walk?"

"I am. I think I need to, honestly."

"Alright, i guess. Goodbye, Rachel." The brunette nodded, then turned around and walked down to the sidewalk, gripping at her own bicep to calm herself a little. She didn't look back. She wouldn't.

"Rach...Wait!" Stopping, Rachel turned around and saw Quinn jogging toward her.

"Yes? Did I forget something?" She looked in her purse, and seeing her phone there, looked back up. "My phone is here."

"No...no. I just...do you maybe want to come to the movies with us? S is cool with it." Rachel smiled widely, pleasantly surprised.

"Sure. Were you two still wanting to just relax and kind of veg out to watch movies instead of going to the theatre? We could go to my house? If the both of you are willing I mean. I think Santana is under the impression my house may be more of a temple to Barbra Streisand than a home." She said, giggling.

"Is she right?"

"No. I would never be able to afford the upkeep for all the devoted fans who would surely flock to see the gigantic marble sculpture I'd need." Quinn couldn't help the snort that slipped out with her laugh, but Rachel's smile only stretch further upon hearing it.

"You are ridiculous."

"Only a little." Rachel was completely surprised by the arms suddenly surrounding her torso as Quinn hugged her.

"You're more than a little adorable. Come on, we'll go pick up San and some of that popcorn that pops in the bucket.

"Am I still driving?"

"Yep. Out of the three of us, I'm the one who's like forever the dd since I got pregnant with Beth and it's nice just relax and sing whatever's playing." They both slid in the car and Rachel started it, turning the album back on and backing out to head to Santana's.

"I'll be your chauffeur Ms. Fabray." Quinn grinned over at her and laid her head back against the rest after switching over to the next cd in the 5 disc player. M83 is what came on, and Rachel smiled again.

"I love your taste in music. You should sing some of this stuff in Glee sometimes. Like, for example, I know you like Likke Li? And the Youth Novels album? Let It Fall would be a perfect duet for you and Brittany. If you were interested.

"You're too good for us. The club." Rachel looked over at her when they hit an infamously long stop light.

"What? No I'm not. What do you mean?"

"I just mean, I'm sure you have ideas...lists upon lists of ideas about what each persons range is, how they could improve, what songs and or artists complement their voices, a lesson plan that you could use if anyone ever takes you up on that everlasting offer for voice lessons...all of it. You probably have song's already lined up for our competitions this year, who should sing what, who could replace them if they got sick or something. You do all of that for us and we never recognize it except negatively. You run that club, Rachel. God...you could have probably coached Vocal Adrenaline if you wanted to." The light finally changed and they drove the rest of the way to Santana's house while the brunette thought it over, parking on the side of the road due to all the cars.

"I do have all of those things...but I'm the captain. It's my responsibility and it's one I cherish and take very seriously. Anyone else would do the same."

"No, Rach. They wouldn't. There wouldn't be a glee club without you. It would fall apart. I guess, at this point, I'm saying thank you. I'm sure Santana would do the same." Said brunette slid into the back seat without any warning, startling the shorter brunette.

"Santana, you frightened me. Hello."

"Berry. Hey Q."

"S I was coming in, i have Fernando's gift in the backseat." The Latina looked over, just now noticing the guitar case in the seat next to her.

"Enter the lion's den at your own risk. The place is full of sugar high thirteen year olds. It's literally hell in there right now. And, btw, I know you did not buy him that les paul he showed you. Quinn that thing was like a thousand dollars. You're spoiling him. And he already has that crush on you. You'll make it worse. Now he'll never shut up asking me when you're coming over."

"What did you get him, then?" She asked, grinning. she already knew how proud Fernando made Santana. He had followed her footsteps as far as his love for music went.

"That amp he wanted. And the mic." She said, looking away. She'd spent even more.

"That's what I thought. Britt got him the keyboard, didn't she?"

"Yea. He set it up and sang one of his songs for his friends. She said that...that she loves him almost as much as she loves me." She smiled, her eyes shining. It was something Rachel had only ever seen when during those days when no one seemed to notice her presence until glee and she had watched Brittany and Santana walking down the hall, pinkies linked.

"I'm glad, San. I'll be back, lemme go take the guitar in." the blonde hopped out, disappearing into the house with the guitar case Santana handed her out her open door.

Rachel said nothing, starting the car up again to turn the music back on, filling the silence.

"She's right you know." Rachel looked back at the other brunette, eyes curious.

"I don't know."

"I do appreciate what you do to the club. You already know it's my favorite part of the day and you do everything possible to keep us afloat, to keep us together. Even though we don't really deserve it from you. So thank you."

"You're welcome, Santana."

"So do you really have like...lesson plans for vocal lessons for the whole club?"

"I do. I didn't know you were here for that part of the conversation."

"I heard it on the way to the car. Your conversation carried out the windows. You have one for me? What...I mean, like what do I need? What would we do?" Rachel turned more in her seat, reaching in the back for the messenger bag she'd put in the car that morning in case there was an impromptu voice lesson or question about what they could sing come sectionals. She tried to always be prepared. Pulling out two typed out bullet-pointed sheets of paper, she kept one and handed the other over.

"As you can see, I think it would benefit you to start with breath work. It's important to have extensive lung capacity to hit notes I know for sure you could with some work. And then we'd work on helping you sing from the diaphragm, work on songs to test and improve your range, and so on. It is all here." Rachel said, smile tentative.

"And you would be willing to do this for me? You're _sure_?"

"Of course I am. Honestly, there's very little within reasonable limits I wouldn't do for anyone in the club. You're my family."

"I..."

"And if that isn't enough, you're my friend. Just let me know when you have some free time this summer. I can give you my schedule for the summer as far as acting, dance, and voice lessons. Plus I tutor and give singing lessons to young children. But I promise I have time for you, Santana. I know how important music is to you." the latina wanted to hug her. She really did. So she slid forward on her seat and let her arms circle around the smaller girl despite their awkward angle, squeezing her gently.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Santana let go, smiling genuinely at the small girl while Quinn slid into the car, her lips curved in her own smile.

"I'm really glad to see you two getting along so well. And you were so wrong by the way, S. Nando has a huge crush on a girl in his class. While everyone else jumped in the pool, he pulled her aside and played her a song he wrote for her. It was kind of adorable."

"He's got game. It's a Lopez thing. So let's dip."

"Yea, let's go, Rach. I want popcorn. I knew I should have had that extra plate of bacon but you kept looking at me eat it like I murdered a pig myself. I felt bad." Santana laughed in the backseat. Rachel shifted into drive, exiting the neighborhood.

"I apologize. From now on I'll keep my eyes away from your lips.

"As if you can." Santana laughed out loud. Rachel realized what she'd said and shrugged, backing pulling out onto the main road to head to the Whole Foods. Five minutes later, all three girls were walking into the store headed straight towards the snack isle. The picked up popcorn and then Santana mentioned ice cream and they headed that way. The blonde grabbed two one quart containers of coffee ice cream for her and the taller brunette while Rachel grabbed vegan chocolate.

"Rachel?" All three girls turned around to find Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina, all looking tired and with sunglasses over their eyes. The eyed the two former cheerleaders warily.

"Oh, hello. How are you three doing today? You appear to be suffering from hangovers, perhaps some jasmine, ginger, or peppermint tea? And then maybe some chicken noodle soup? Is that what you're here for?" She asked, talking as quietly as she could and still be heard.

"Kurt shook his head, pointing to the ice cream, still eyeing Santana and Quinn, who both stood with their hands on the mini push cart, their eyes icy.

"That will only make it worse. If you were to get brain freeze it will spike the headache all over again. I had miso soup for dinner last night, I still have quite a bit if you would like some and some tea to take both home with you." Gently, Tina pulled off her glasses squinted against the brightness, nodding. The other two shook their head, reaching instead for ice cream. Mercedes pointed to the two taller girls, a mean looking frown on her face.

"What are you doing with _them_?" She asked rudely.

"We came to get the items you can see us carrying. We're having a movie day. I would invite you but I know your head probably hurts far too much for something like that today."

"_Those two_? Watching movies with _you_? How'd you talk them into it? Promise to give up a few solos that aren't _yours_ in the first place? Why else would they hang out with you?" Tina frowned at the quickly hidden hurt in Rachel's eyes.

"Hey, that was mean. And un-called for. Apologize, Cedes." The usually quiet girl said. Kurt stood there next to the diva, agreeing with her.

"I honestly don't think she should. She's right about most of it anyway. It isn't like it isn't true. And anyway, I'm sorry, Rachel, but you deserve it. It is mostly your fault we lost nationals anyway. Let's not forget about that."

"Kurt, stop it. Both of you stop it. The club is a family and this isn't how you should be treating them. Rachel I'm sorry." Tina stepped over to hold Rachel's hand, smiling gently at her, worried by the fact that the brunette wasn't responding.

"Oh whatever. Rachel's no family of mine. We only tolerate her in the club because of her voice, which isn't that great anyway. And we only tolerate the trinity for numbers."

"Okay, you know what, you two want Auntie Snix here so bad, you got her. Keep insulting my girl Rachel and you'll have twice the fucking headaches to worry about. She didn't have to promise us anything. We're her _friends_, you should think about learning what that actually means since I've no doubt you'll be claiming to be the same when school starts again. Now get's to steppin before we step _over_ you. And by the way bitches, feel fucking lucky I stepped in and not Quinn, I guarantee she's about an inch from losing control and ripping you both shreds. T.T. you stickin with the losers or coming with us?"

"I met them here in my car. I'll just go home and make some soup and tea then get in the bed." She said, wincing and then slipping her glasses back on. He headache wasn't getting any better. Quinn watched as Kurt and Mercedes walked away, mumbling disgruntled whatevers.

"Okay, feel better, T."

"Thank you, Santana. Bye guys." Rachel waived was the girl disappeared, then turned and walked to Quinn, falling into the arms that had opened for her. The tears didn't fall, but they were there and Santana could see that from her position next to the two girls. She reached a hand out and rubbed the smallest girl's back in an attempt to soothe her.

"Hey, you're okay Rach. It's okay." The small brunette stepped away, wiping at the water collecting in her eyes that had just started to fall.

"I don't understand why they do this. I just. I tried to help them and they treat us all like...like shit! The two of you don't deserve that. Your voices are a unique and treasured addition to the club and I for one love having the two of you there everyday. It's like they only care about winning, and what solos they can lord over everyone else. I know that's what everyone thinks i care about but you're all wrong."

"We don't really think that anymore, tiny. I kind of think you love it for the music and you know, you get to perform."

"No...no I thought that Glee club had given me a family again. Like I wasn't alone anymore but I _am_." Santana frowned, eyes questioning. Quinn stood there, trying to catch Rachel's eyes. She was worried. Maybe today wasn't the best time for them to do this as of now. Maybe she should take Santana home and just spend some time alone with Rachel. Help her...somehow.

"Wait, what, I thought you had two dads?"

"I did. They're dead. I'm alone okay. They died. Last summer. It's okay that you don't remember hearing about it. I never mentioned it. I didn't want pity. I thought everyone knew. When no one but Ms. Pillsbury and Mr. Shue said anything I assumed that no one cared." Rachel grabbed the basket and pulled it with her as she started towards the front of the store the checkout lanes. It took them a few minutes to take care of checking out and the were a few feet from the care when Quinn took the keys from Rachel's hands and tossed them to Santana.

"Hey, can you drive please. I need to talk to her." She said when Rachel questioned her with her eyes as they put the stuff in the trunk. She opened the brunettes door for her then got in the other side. Santana started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, headed towards Rachel's house.

"I could have driven." Rachel said, leaning against her door, as far away as she could be. She wanted to shut down, to get home and lock herself in her room the way she always used to process whenever she was bullied back when her dads were still alive. She'd hide away then come out and cry on their strong shoulders, soaking all the love they gave unconditionally.

"I know. Rach come here." Quinn opened her arms, closing them when said girl laid her head against her chest.

"I don't know why it still hearts after all this time. I should be used to it, i should have gotten over it by now." Quinn ran slim fingers through her hair slowly, calming her sobbing tears.

"Over what?"

"Everything. The way people treat me isn't anything new. I should expect it, have thicker skin. Not let it affect me. And...my dads too. It's been a year. Shouldn't I be able to deal with that empty house? The empty feeling I get when I wake up and forget and go downstairs and expect them to be down there, expect them to be in their room when I check it too? Shouldn't I stop checking? Shouldn't it stop hurting that I'm alone? I should be used to it."

"It never stops hurting. We lost my Papi when I was Fernando's age and it still hurts everyday. I still wait up till two am every Saturday night expecting him to come in from a late shift at the hospital but he never does." Santana said quietly, her own tears falling as she pulled into the Berry driveway.

"I'm sorry you lost your daddy."

"You too, Rachel." Santana stopped the car, leaning into her seat and trying to stop her tears. Back in the car, Rachel sobbed and Quinn kissed her forehead.

"I know it hurts Rach, I know. But you're not alone anymore. You've got me. I'm here. I'll be here. If you need me just call and I'll be here asap, okay? I'll hold you just like this until you can calm down, I'll sing to you like last night. I don't want you to hurt, beautiful." She wiped at the tears falling from big brown eyes, kissing the girl's forehead again.

"I love you, Quinn."

"I know, Baby. Come on, let's head in. Maybe we can watch a comedy? I remember you saying something about your dad loving Ghostbusters? How about we watch that?" Rachel nodded, smiling softly and remembering the ridiculous days they'd watch those movies and laugh out loud for hours.

"Yeah. Yes that sounds like a good idea. I remember he had the most horrible Bill Murray impersonations. He was so silly and unintentionally funny. Daddy told me it was what made him fall so head over heels in love with him. Then dad would say that it was his amazing good looks. Ha. They loved each other so much." She said as all three got out of the car, Santana and Quinn grabbing the bags then shutting the trunk.

"I always kind of wanted to meet your dads. You know to just...finally talk to someone who had already fought through all of it and found their happiness with the person they loved." Santana said as they walked in the house and put the ice cream away and the first bucket of popcorn in the microwave.

"They would have loved to meet you. They asked me once, about meeting you, Quinn, and Brittany. I talked about you a lot. Because they'd met most everyone else through a sleepover or two, dance classes or whatever. I mean, they met Brittany once and she asked them if they were married and she asked where she could get married to you and they told her." Rachel said, walking into the living room to put the movie in the blu ray player.

"She wants to marry me?" Quinn giggled.

"No question. The two of you will get through all of this. You're meant to be together, there's no arguing that." The blonde said. Santana nodded, hoping her best friend was right.

"And the two of you?" She asked when Rachel walked back into the room, pulling her own butter-less popcorn from the pantry, handing Santana her own popped bucket when she pulled it from the microwave.

"I..." the shorter brunette sighed. turning around to face the taller girl.

"It's one sided. And it's okay, she's willing to be my friend, I'm okay with just that."

"Bull shit." Rachel huffed"

"Must you swear? And I am fine with it. It's something I've worked on a long time. I knew she could never feel the same. I've had years." Quinn felt like maybe she should say something, but what? The little crush that had initially caused her to strike out at it's focus had developed over the years, sure. But into what? Saying anything before she was sure seemed reckless and had a potential to hurt Rachel deeply with her being as emotionally invested as she was.

"No, I mean the unrequited part." The Latina said, tossing a few kernels into her mouth.

"What?!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Jesus christ, Rae. Turn down the volume. You know your voice projects anyway. I needs these ears."

"Sorry. But I don't understand. Quinn what does she mean?" She was confused for sure. Santana's eyes locked on the blonde's, eyebrow raised in question. None of it was really hers to say but weren't they all being honest and shit?

"I...had a crush on you. Back in freshman year. It's why I went from what Sue would call keeping the idiot masses in check to focusing my negative attention solely on you. I mean I wish I could have found a better way to deal with it. My father was always going on about how disgusting and sinful your dads were and I was afraid of what would happen if I acted on it. I would see you and want to say you looked nice, or I liked your outfit or anything and instead an insult came out so I just...I kept doing it. And I forced Britt and San to do the same. I was bitter and jealous and stupid and fuck...Rachel I'm sorry."

The brunette didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure if it was better or worse now that she knew why Quinn had behaved that way towards her. But she'd already forgiven her. She wouldn't go back on that. She could hardly believe someone like Quinn had ever been attracted to her to begin with. She was so beautiful she could have anyone and anything she waned.

"You had a crush? On _me_?"

"Is it weird that it's me saying that I don't like that you say that as if there's something wrong with you?" Santana asked, munching on her popcorn still. It was strange that the other girl was her...were they friends? Rachel had thought they were since the beginning of glee club but had been proven wrong again and again. But the Latina had said it at the grocery store and it made her smile widen goofily

"That depends on whether you meant what you said at the store. Are we...are you my friend? " Rachel asked, still so confused about her relationships with these two beautiful girls. Friendly with Santana. Hopefully so much more with Quinn.

"Look. I know I've been a massive bitch and said some pretty fucked up things to you, but this is me apologizing, K? I'm sorry, I know how much words hurt and I should not have used them against you like that."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yea, Tiny, it is. We're friends." the latina rolled her eyes as Rachel grinned and danced a little after she hugged her.

"So what happened to this crush you had on me?" Rachel said, eyes locked to the now golden eyes of Quinn Fabray.

"It grew. By the time I joined glee I was screwed. I admitted to myself that I liked you and promised myself I'd never say anything. I hoped it would go away."

"Did it?" Rachel's eyes were hopeful and she leaned closer on her stool against the kitchen island they were all around. Santana was in her head, thinking about Brittany and their future together. She was thinking about maybe calling her just to tell her she loved her when the doorbell rang, pulling her out of her head.

Rachel turned towards the sink, opening a cabinet to look at a monitor which showed them who was standing at the front door.

"Finn. What does that asshole want? Rachel closed the cabinet and squared her shoulders, opening a a drawer. She shut it a few seconds later, a can of pepper spray in her hand and a tazer in a holster on her hip that neither girl had noticed.

"I see you take your safety pretty seriously, tiny. Honestly I'm glad to see it. I seriously don't like the idea of you living here alone with no security measures in place." The smallest girl breathed deep then walked to her door, opening it with a serious look on her face.

"Hi, Rach." The boy looked over when suddenly, both Santana and Quinn filled in the door's frame.

"Finn. What can I do for you?" She said with cold eyes.

"Look Rach, I'm sorry about the stuff I said last night. I know it's never okay to call someone a fag or a dyke and I shouldn't have said it no matter how drunk or angry I was. I know I messed up pretty bad, but I'd like another chance to earn the right to be your friend again." The brunettes eyes thawed as she listened to what the boy had to say.

Sure she had never really loved him romantically, but he'd been her first friend and she did miss having someone to talk to. But she didn't trust him after what he'd said. She felt comforted by the two warm hands against the small of her back.

"I think...that I do want to be your friend again, but the things you said hurt me and... I don't trust you anymore Finn. But we can try, I guess once school starts again. Goodbye." She reached to close the door, but the large boys foot had been stuck in, keeping it from doing so. She quickly reached for the tazer on her side, pointing it at the offending boy and Santana stood partly in front of her, ready to give the idiot the one two punch to the face she felt he deserved.

"Whoa, Rachel calm down I wasn't going to do anything, I only wanted to ask you why you would be busy, what you were doing the rest of the summer."

"I'll be...taking a trip." Lying was something she abhorred doing, but Finn had shown her before that he sometimes had trouble taking no for an answer when it came to leaving her alone.

"Oh, cool! with your dads?" Rachel deflated, put her tazer back in it's holster and walked away, Quinn following to comfort her. Santana stayed, arms crossed over her chest.

"You're a fucking idiot. Leave her alone for the rest of the summer finnocence."

"Who are you to say that for her?"

"Okay one, i'm her friend. And two, she just said the same thing herself. Get lost, Reptar." The latina shut the door in the boy's face, walking back into the kitchen were Rachel was putting away the pepper spray and tazer.

"I've decided to pretend the majority of that didn't happen. Let's watch the movie." She put her popcorn in the microwave and stood there, head in her hands as she leaned against the counter, eyes closed. After gently rubbing her new friends back, Santana pulled out her phone and walked away, still considering calling Brittany.

"Rachel..."

"No, Quinn. It's fine." The blonde walked behind her, lip between her teeth as she hugged the unmoving girl.

"I'm fine, Quinn."

"I just...want to tell you that it didn't go away. I don't know what romantic love is, really. I love Beth because she's my baby. And Britt, Santana, and you in that same vein of friendship. But I can't tell you I love you because I've only ever seen it between S and B and that situation is _so_ much different. I guess I'm saying that I care about you Rachel, so so much. I hope you can understand that I don't want to hurt you and that's why I don't want to say anything I'm not sure of." The brunette turned in her arms and tucked herself under the girl's chin, feeling as if they were made to embrace that way they fit so well.

"I understand, can I...is it okay if I kiss you?" Rachel asked, looking up the short distance into her eyes.

"I would love for you to kiss me Rach." the brunette shifted up and forward, connected their lips and granting herself a wish she'd had since she'd been fourteen. Quinn sighed against her softness, burying her hands in dark hair. There was no argument over how physically attracted to each other they were.

"I never thought I'd be able to do this with you. I dream about kissing you some nights. And wake up wishing I can actually do so."

"Shh." Quinn said, leaning down to press her lips to Rachel's for a second time.

They finally separated when Santana walked back in to grab her bucket of popcorn, grinning after having talked to Brittany.

"Should have figured I'd find you two making out. Britts says hi. And I, btw have an announcement to make." Rachel lay her head against Quinn's chest smiling softly, her eyes shining.

"Hmm? What is it? Everything okay?"

"Yea, everything's gettin' squared away, Rae. I just wanted to say, that I'm...gay." Quinn couldn't help but roll her eyes, but Rachel disconnect from the girl she loved to go and wrap her arms around her brunette friend instead. After a few moments and Santana squeezing her hand in thanks she went back over to tuck into Quinn.

"I'm really proud of you, San. Congratulations."

"As am I."

"Thanks Q, you too Tiny. I talked to her and she told me that she and Artie haven't even been together really since before nationals and I was being stupid and wouldn't talk to her but so she stopped approaching me and it's all pretty complicated. Point is, we're doing this. I decided to tell the club and let whatever happens happen. I don't even doubt everything'll go apeshit when Lady Face and Weezy inevitably open their mouths. As long as the neanderthals leave my baby alone it'll be fine."

"If they have any shred of intelligence I'm sure they will, but what about you?" Santana's eyebrow rose and it took her a second to realize that Rachel was worried for her safety.

"She's right, S. Between you and Coach, Britt Britt will be fine...but I worry about you. I know you hate to hear it as much as I hate to say it to you but you're tiny, Santana. They know they can't go after her, you'll take the brunt of it. If one of them hurts you..."

"Q come on, I'll be fine. Rachel don't worry." The latina said, false confidence rolling off of her in waves. She had to be strong for this.

"I mean, I know you're totally a bamf. But I'm seriously concerned. And as such, I have a plan." Rachel said, leaning back into Quinn, running her fingers over the hands she often fantasized about.

"It's not crazy is it? Your plans get crazy sometimes."

"No, thank you, it's not. Now, as I was about to say...I've no doubt that Coach Sylvester is reinstating the cheerios this year in her bid to secure a championship . You, Britt, and Quinn rejoin. You'll share head coach between the three of you if possible, and prove a united front. In fact, if you have the time given the fact that I realize it's senior year, restart the bullywhips. I keep in communication with David, and I'll call him. I think he was considering going to another school though..."

"Wait, why do you talk to Dave?" She looked genuinely curious, and thought maybe she should call her friend and ask him about it later.

"Since when do you call him anything but Karofsky?" Quinn was curious. She knew how much her best friend used to hate the boy for the things he did to Kurt only because of his sexuality, no matter how much they both disliked Kurt himself.

"Since we agreed to be each other's beards last year. No matter how much it ended up messing things up. I only ended up hurting Britt and Kurt didn't even care he was so far buried between Blaine Warblers ass cheeks." Rachel couldn't help the loud laugh that ripped from her throat, she held her stomach, trying to stop but unable to.

"See, Q. I told you I was _hilarious_. Your girl is proof." Quinn rolled her eyes, rubbing her 'girls' surely aching stomach. Finally calming down, the brunette breathed deep and leaned back into Quinn.

"I'm starting to agree with you, San."

"That was both kind of mean and very correct. But, I don't know I worry about David. He really loves him and I have the feeling that if he were to tell Kurt he would as rude and hurtful as he tends to be when caught off guard or uncomfortable. I think if everything goes okay, maybe we can add David to the list of people willing to help protect you and Brittany."

"I don't think it'll be very long considering I'm involved." Santana said, tossing the bucket of popcorn she'd finished and then grabbing an apple from the basket Rachel kept on the island.

"I don't think that's true, San. You're a good person. And regardless, we'll figure it out."

"I'll work on it. You and Britt deserve this bit of happiness, Santana. There's no reason you shouldn't be able to give her a kiss before class or hold her hand in the hallway. I'll do _everything_ I can to make it as easy as possible for the two of you. I promise you."

The Latina couldn't help but to feel like she didn't deserve any of what the shorter girl was willing to do for her. She remembered her Papi used to tell her that god gives you things you don't deserve to give you the opportunity to become a better person. She would try to do that. If not for her own benefit then for Rachel's. It was beyond clear to her that Rachel deserved to have friends, people who loved her and were willing to give back to her as much as she seemed to give without even thinking twice about it. More than anything, the smaller girl deserved to have a family.

"Oh. my. god...you're like _perfect_."

"I agree completely."

"Of course you do, Quinnie." The blonde shrugged.

"I'm not. I just care about you. Britt two. It's important to me that you're happy and safe. I'll do anything within reasonable limits to guarantee that." Santana rolled her eyes and smirked good naturedly.

"Rach I think that's what she meant."

"It is exactly what I meant, Tiny. Just, look...thank you, okay?"

"You're welcome. But wait, now that I think about it weren't we supposed to be watching a movie?"

"Yea, but now that I think of it I'd rather just veg out and watch some tv. Is that okay?" Quinn looked down at Rachel who nodded, walking to the microwave to retrieve her neglected bag of popcorn. All three girls relaxed into the couch and Quinn grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels, stopping on bbc and what appeared to be the first episode of Luther.

"I just realized I haven't asked about if your mother knows. Have you told her?"

"I didn't have to. Apparently I'm not as sneaky as I thought I was. Mami told me that it was no surprise when I told her and that she was still expecting grandchildren."

"I can't wait to meet you and Britt's kids. They'll be beautiful, San. And definitely a little badass."

"I concur."

"A little? Bitch please my kids will be _complete_ bamfs."

"Nope, I think Britt's sweetness and happiness should temper it. Besides, I know you don't want them to go through the things we did, or that Rach did. You'll want to protect them from the kind of pain that breeds people like us. The first thing I realized as I sat there holding Beth was that I never thought I could love anything as much as I instantly loved her. I still feel that way. She was so, so beautiful, my baby. And I started to hate myself a little less. If I could be half of creating someone so perfect you know, maybe I was okay. Maybe I shouldn't hate myself for what I had to do to give her the life she deserved." She absent mindedly rubbed against her flat stomach, missing her daughter the way she did every time she accidentally did that.

"Q...I...I'm sorry." She couldn't help but croak out, the lump in her throat warning her that tears would probably come in the next few seconds. She deserved the nervousness she always felt when exposing her real self to anyone who wasn't Brittany. She should have been there for Quinn when she was pregnant. She knew that.

"Santana, stop. No apologies, no tears." She didn't notice her own tears filling her crystal clear currently green eyes, but Rachel did. She scooted closer to her, wiping under her favorite eyes just as the tears started to fall.

"Quinn honey, hey you're okay right now and so is Beth. Don't cry please. You know I can't bear to see you hurting like this." As Rachel hugged the taller girl to her, Santana stood up and disappeared out the back door to sit next to the pool, pulling her phone out to call her girlfriend. She was so angry with herself. Only Britt was ever able to calm that down.

"I...I wanted to keep her Rach. So badly. I don't know why I didn't. God, I should have, I was so stupid. My _baby_. I miss her." Rachel wiped away the rest of Quinn's tears then kissed her closed eyelids. She loved her so much. Quinn admitting all of this to her instead of just crying alone in her room like she would have probably done if not for how drastically things had changed between them recently was heartwarming. Still, she literally hated to see her beautiful blonde in tears.

The plan that was forming in her head could possibly only land her in her own tears, but there was nothing she wouldn't do for her.

"I know what we'll do, okay? Calm down for me Quinn. Okay, beautiful?" The tears still fell, but as Quinn lay atop Rachel, head on her abdomen with the shorter girl's hand combing softly through her hair, she calmed down considerably.

"What can we do. I wouldn't take her away or anything. Shelby's her mom and she probably loves her as her mom. And they live in New York." Rachel was aware. She had kept reasonably on top of what Shelby was up to. Knew the woman had been in an off-broadway production that had been bought and transplanted to broadway itself, and now it was so busy that the understudy who it appeared the audience loved took over half the performances, that they were in talks to have the older woman back out completely and let the understudy take over all performances. Shelby appeared ready to slow down the pace of her life, make time for her family, and teach. Rachel was not sure she applied under family.

If she was honest, she had told Quinn a half truth earlier about what had happened when Shelby had to be in town for the two weeks after her fathers died. She'd left Beth with her mother and had to rush back to New York to be with her daughter after Rachel had been emancipated.

Which was something Rachel herself had insisted on, given as she didn't trust her mother and wanted to be independent, save herself the pain. She said no when Shelby offered to move her to New York to make a family with her and her little sister. Really it was her that shut down all the older woman's attempts at making them the family that Rachel desperately craved but was afraid to actually have. Especially from one of the main reasons she was afraid to want anything in the first place.

Sighing deeply, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, staring at the contact she pulled up.

"I'm going to call her, and we're going to go visit. Or she can come here. I need to fix some of the mistakes I made with her last time she was in Lima and you can spend some time reconnecting with Beth, helping her learn who you are. Maybe she'll just call you Quinn, but the two of us will know that you're also her mother. You deserve a chance to love your daughter, Quinn. I'll do whatever I have to in order to make that happen for you, okay? I promise." The blonde was confused, hadn't Rachel said Shelby had abandoned her after her dad's died?

"But didn't she like leave you here alone when you needed her? That's what you said right?"

"I know. What happened is she wanted me to move back to New York with her, be a family. Her, me and Beth. But I couldn't."

"Why, you didn't trust her? isn't that what you've been wanting though? A family?"

"It wasn't because I didn't trust her. She did everything she could to make me understand that she truly does love me as her daughter and after a while I believed her. I wanted that too, but I just...couldn't Quinn." Officially confused, Quinn looked into the eyes she would hope she knew at least a little bit.

"Rachel I don't understand. Didn't you want to leave this place?" Quinn flashed her confused eyes up at Santana who had just walked back into the house. The latina looked into Rachel's eyes for only a few seconds and saw it. That same devoted love she had for Brittany. the kind that made you tied to someone, unable to leave them behind. Unable to stop loving them even if you wanted to. It felt like a physical rubber band that always left you tied to them, feeling the resistance of moving further away when you tried to only to come crashing back together again.

"She didn't want to leave _you_." She said with surprise in her voice after witnessing the love in Rachel's eyes as they flashed back to Quinn's. She had never seen it coming. But it did explain a lot.

"What?" She didn't even know what to say.

"I'm sorry Quinn. Please don't be angry with me. I just...I love you and I...I just _couldn't_. I'm sorry." Santana didn't understand why the shorter girl was apologizing.

"You...You threw away the chance at being part of a family again for _me_? I don't understand that." Quinn didn't even know what to think. Santana was right. Rachel was damn near perfect. Too good for her, surely?

"I'd throw away my _life_ for you, don't you get it?" she whispered-shouted huskily.

Quinn couldn't speak, not really. She was trying to process, but from on her lap, Rachel was suddenly kissing her softly but with some urgency. Like if she didn't make Quinn understand soon the she would die.

"I'd do anything. All the songs have been for you, everything has been for you. I just want you to be happy. It's why I tried to keep Finn away from you. So you could leave this place like you've always dreamt of doing. Be a yale or columbia graduate, a writer. Married and happy with kids. I wanted you to have all of that." She was so late to realizing all of this. Sure Rachel had told her she loved her the night before, but she didn't fully understand besides the whole keeping Finn off of her thing. She looked up at Santana who smiled at her, nothing held back. Her friend knew how much she'd always just wanted someone to love her, want happiness for herself, everything Rachel was doing.

"With you?" She asked "You wanted me to have all of that with you?"

"No...I know you could never love me. I thought you would never even know how I felt if I was successful. But then last night you came over and you were so angry and I was a little drunk and I just started talking and couldn't stop...you were sitting there in front of me and so beautiful and I just thought to myself for a second...'Rachel what if she _could_ love you and everything she deserves you could have with her? You could make her happy.' "

"Hey, Tiny. You're not unlovable, okay. You are an amazing person, Rachel. Honestly, I love you, you're as of today one of the only people I trust and one of my best friends. So stop it, _please_..." she only said it because wasn't it her fault? Her, Quinn, the glee club. It was their fault that Rachel even felt that way. Santana and her anger over not really being with the woman she loved had made her lash out and Rachel had been the perfect target. She felt like a monster. Pulling out her phone and walking back out the back door she pressed number two and brought it to her ears.

"Britts?" she could hear Britt humming as she cooked dinner.

"Hi San. You ok? What's going on now? Rae Rae and Quinn okay?" the blonde could hear the tears in her girlfriends voice.

"They...will be I think. Tiny's so torn up inside Britt Britt. I hate myself for my hand in it. How did I even let myself hurt people like that every day? God, especially her. Did you know her Dads died last year?" The tears had come and her girlfriend shhed her over the line.

"San listen, you hurt people because you were hurting. And you're right, it's wrong to do that. But we're all human. Rachel did the same thing when she sent sunshine to that crackhouse. Her dad's had just died and nobody knew or said anything and she was alone and wasn't thinking clearly. All while trying to pretend that she was still bright, sunny Rachel Berry. Should you feel bad for what you've done, yes. But you shouldn't hate yourself, baby." Santana sniffled. Her girl was so smart.

"I love you, Britt. So so much, okay?"

"And I love you, Sannie."

"Brittany do you think it would be a good idea if I take anger management classes? I don't...I don't want to hurt anybody anymore."

"I think it's a great idea baby. And I'm so proud of you. I'm gonna get back to dinner. You check on Q and Rae and look up when you can take your classes. I can come over there after dinner if you want me to. Or are you going home?"

"Can you please come here? I've had my fill of being hit on by thirteen year old boys. If Rachel says it's okay I may sleep here tonight and just go home tomorrow. The boys'll be gone for the week anyway. Maybe if we get up early enough we can make Mami breakfast. She's been so tired."

"Yea, I know she has. That sounds perfect. I'll be there later okay. By Sanny." The brunette bid farewell and hung up her phone, leaning back in the lounge chair and taking in the late afternoon sun. Later, she thought, she'd look up where she could take her classes.

-Back in the living room-

"Rachel if I told you that i think that maybe I do love you, would you believe me?" The brunette turned back from getting ready to tell Santana that she was, in fact, unloveable. The other brunette had just walked away. When she looked into hazel eyes they shined at her along with the soft smile on pink lips, the thumb against her cheek stroking softly

"I don't know." She could almost feel it.

"I love you." All the talk of what Rachel was willing to do for her, how she felt, made her examine herself to realize that maybe she did know what love was. Maybe it was how willing she was to do anything for the girl in front of her. How happy she was just sitting there alone with her, touching her. The way that when she was feeling so alone at home she would yearn for Rachel to be there, to make everything okay again. The times she'd think about how stupid she'd been to sleep with Puck. Even though she loved what came of it, what they'd created together. She sometimes thought about it and wished that Rachel was not only her first, but only partner in that category. Looking at her right now, how could she _not_ love Rachel?

"Really?"

"Yea. Really. Come here. Kiss me." She didn't even know how long she'd wanted to kiss the other girl. Years, definitely. Giving in to the desire now that they realized they loved each other seemed reasonable.

"You want me to kiss you?" The brunette said, unmoving. She was nervous. Not really about the kissing. She was excellent at that. But she wondered if she was taking the proper amount of time to absorb Quinn's apparent love for her. If she glossed over it right now, it could sneak up on her and she'd be doubting everything later. But Quinn licked her lips and Rachel was hooked.

"Rachel I always want you." She said huskily, scooting further away and laying down, pulling the other girl on top of her.

"Me too."

"So kiss me, Rach." The shorter girl leaned down, finally connected their lips, keeping it soft despite their obvious desire for one another. The shorter girl had finally slid her tongue along Quinn's lips in her desire for entrance when Santana walked back into the room and then into the kitchen. Quinn hadn't even seen her but Rachel shot up and straitened her perfectly straight skirt, looking away kind of bashfully.

"Raaaach" Quinn whined, reaching for her. She was addicted. "Kiss me. I want your tongue in my mouth."

"Well that progressed quickly" Santana said, warm smile curving her full lips. Eyes still red.

"Ugh, San. Rachel was about to put her tongue in my mouth. Don't be a...that thing puck says.

"Cock block? You hiding something I don't know about Quinnie? If you do as your best friend I demand first look. I can tell you if you're big or not. But the question has to be raised, how could you get pregnant _and_ have a dick? Is this one of those weird werepeen things? Britts read about it" The latina smirked, joking around.

"Must you be so vulgar? If Quinn has a penis in her panties then it's for me and you're to stay away from it, Santana Lopez." Rachel stomped her foot with her hands on her hips. Suddenly protective of any potential body parts her blonde may or may not have.

"Ok one, you two are ridiculous. Two, I'm not intersex, or whatever the hell you were just talking about San, so calm down. Three, Rach if I had a penis it would be for you." Quinn wasn't even sure how the hell they got into that conversation.

One second Rachel was about to put her perfect tongue in her mouth and then another they were talking about her nonexistent penis. Weirdness. Quinn walked to open it when the doorbell rang, smiling at Brittany as she walked into the house. She sat down at the couch and picked up the dvd in front of her.

"Hi, guys. Hi Rae Rae. What are you up to? Ooh are you gonna watch ghostbusters?!"

"So, Q and Rae were making out right, then I came in so Rachel freaked out then Quinn said I was cockblocking her, so I asked her if she had a cock and that as best friend I get first look. Then I wondered about how she could get pregnant and have a dick and then I mentioned that werepeen thing you were reading about in fanfiction. Then Rachel said that if Q did have a dick then it was only for her and I should stay away. That's pretty much what just happened. How was dinner, babe?"

"It was good! Wait, so Quinn do you have a-"

"No. I'm a regular girl with v and I don't grow a dick for four or five days out of the month. Sorry for the language Rach." The brunette let it go, sliding into the blonde's side and pressing a kiss to her cheek as Santana slid the dvd in.

"Wait, Q how do you know about the five days a month thing?"

"Who's stuff do you think I've been reading? You should see her tumblr, it's awesome." Rachel ignored the conversation, tucking further into her girlfriend to-

"I just thought about something."

"Hmm, what Rach?"

"I thought of you as my girlfriend in my head but that's not true, right?"

"If it isn't I think it should be." Rachel couldn't help but smile at her.

"Do you need me to take you out and ask traditionally, Quinn? I truly just want to be your girl already."

"I think you are as of now, girlfriend of mine."

"You two are so adorable!"

"Thank you very kindly, Brittany. As are you and Santana."

"It's so awesome that we can all be friends now. I always wanted to but Quinn wouldn't let me. I swear it was because of that one time that she overheard me tell San that we should invite you into a threesome. She get's like super jelly over you all the time. I get it though. I get super jelly over San too." Said girl folded into her arms and relaxed with a easy going smile on her face. They all quieted down as the movie started. Then Rachel thought about her mission to help Quinn see Beth.

"Hey Quinn, how about tomorrow, I call my mom and apologize. Then we can plan a trip to new york based on what she says?"

"Yea. It would be amazing to see my little girl again. I want to get to know her, you know. And spend a weekend or more in the city with you. I mean, the beginning of the trip for nationals was fun, but I may have had a minor breakdown. Hence the shaggy hair."

"I love your hair like this. You're beautiful, Quinn." the blonde smiled at her, pressing a quick soft kiss to willing lips.

"I totally recommended that haircut, btw. And minor breakdown my ass. She was totally six seconds from getting her ass kicked. Honestly she just like needed you to do one of those things were you would like offer again to be her friend and smile at her and tell her she was pretty. She said she just wanted someone to love her. But you were off singing on a broadway stage with the asshole known as lady hummel." Rachel worried her bottom lip. She wondered if maybe things would have been better between them sooner if she'd stayed at the hotel with Quinn. She knew herself. Knew that if Quinn had cried out for someone to love her she would have been quick with the words she had held in for so long.

"San, can we go as ghostbusters for pucks Halloween party in october? I know that's like months away but our costumes will be amazing if we start planning now.

"Oh, totes, babe. That's an awesome idea. You two in?"

"We are. I officially propose that Santana be Peter Venkman."

"Oh, I knew you loved me Tiny."

"Of course I do. Didn't I say that?"

"As a matter of fact Rach, you did. And we love you too."

"Really?"

"Yep. We're like the...Fabray-Berry-Pierce-Lopez family. Or something that's less of a mouthful."

"Faberrittana. I totally made it up when Sannie called and started gushing about how adorable and perfect Rae Rae is.

"Aww baaaabe. Why you have to embarrass me?" She whined, hiding in her girlfriends neck.

"She can't embarrass you San, it's just us. She could only embarrass you if she said something neither of us wants to hear regarding your sex life or something. Like that it was you with the dick. In with case I call best friend's rights to first look."

"Keep your penis to yourself, Lopez." Rachel said playfully.

"Hahaha, you two."

"yea, we thought it was funny.

"Wait, I just remembered. Pucks having a party tomorrow. We should go, be all out and adorable, then come home and watch more of Rae's admittedly awesome movie collection."

"Noah just had a party yesterday. Where is he getting all of ths alcohol? it's frightening."

"he said he met a guy in juvie who's older brother owns a distribution center or something"

"What's the party even for? I guess I'll go but I have no intention of puking my liver out by the time i'm 40 thank you."

"Nice image Q. Apparently he finally got his band booked at that bar he goes to across town and he's invited everyone to come see them and then celebrate at his after. The bar's doing that thing with the bracelets that tell if you can or can't drink, hence the party. the band is good and he deserves to celebrate something like this after all the work he's put into the music. It used to be all typical Puck shit but it's good now."

"Annnddddd, you know all this how?"

"Puck and San are really close friends. And plus they made a pact together."

"What does this pact cover? Is it music related, because if it is I should most definitely be involved!"

"So, it goes like this. If I get famous first, I help him get into the music business. If he gets famous first, visa versa."

"What if neither of those things happen? Both of you are talented as hell, but you know how people can be."

"Then, we both go and beg at Rachel Berry's celebrity feet like the chumps we are for not making it. It's fool proof. Rae _will_ succeed, even if we can't. She was fucking born for it." Santana's arms were suddenly full of Rachel berry.

"Oh Santana you're so sweet!"

"I know right, I try to tell everybody but they always think I don't know because I'm stupid. Like I get that but I'm not people stupid. Just book stupid."

"Britt Britt you aren't stupid at all. They are for thinking it. I know sometimes you don't get the double meanings in words or sometime confuse words that are spelled really similarly, but that doesn't make you stupid. the english language is super weird. You'd probably be a genius at like spanish or italian or something."

"She's totally a genius in spanish. I wonder if we could get them to teach her classes that way...it's a great idea. They won't go for it though. We'll just have to help, you'll grad with us B."

"We are of course, in. This year will be so exciting! Faberrittana for the win!" The other three girls grinned at her before leaning over the press kisses against her cheek.

"Are all three of you staying tonight? I have guest rooms." Rachel looked up, the movie was going off.

"Yea, I'm pretty tired. I was up at like seven to get Nando's party together and then I had to barbecue for hours...I love him though, it was worth it to see how excited he was. Can you show us where the room is?" Rachel nodded then stood and looked down at her softly smiling girlfriend.

"Are you ready for bed?" Quinn bit her lip and nodded, standing to wrap her hand around her girlfriend's. She followed Rachel while she showed the other two girls their room.

"Night night Quinn n Rachie." They all waved and then they were about to pass a room with a gold star on the door when she pushed it open to peek inside, Rachel stopping when she met resistance

"Everything okay?"

"Yea. It's just the first time i've seen your room before. Never been in it. I was curious. It's cute, Rach." She stepped further inside as Rachel smiled and let her hand slip away. The blonde ventured to the board on the wall with a few pictures pinned up. A few of Rachel and her dads, one of the glee club, with her arms around the smaller brunette, huge smiles on both their faces. And one of just the two of them together on the bench in central park. There was another in the mirror, it was her yearbook picture from freshman year. She didn't remember giving it to the smaller girl.

I know it's strange I have pictures of you...of us. But I get to see your face in the mornings. Even if it's not really you. It helps me get going. Brittany gave me that one. She said she knew I wanted one but would never ask. She was right. Lets um, let me show you where you'll be sleeping.

"Is it weird that I want to stay here and sleep next to you?" Quinn asked, chuckling.

"No. I feel the same. But we can't Quinn. I want this to be perfect for you and I don't want to just be someone else who tried to rush you into physical intimacy. So we must remain separate. Yahweh knows I'm not sure how far the incident on the couch would have gone if Santana had not interrupted" Quinn thought about it and realized that in all honesty Rachel was right. And now that she thought of it, if they were to go beyond the boundaries of what they were ready for, she wasn't sure she would know what to do to give her girlfriend the pleasure she wanted to give.

"Okay. G'night Rach. I love you, K?"

"I love you as well, Quinn. Sleep well." They kissed chastely then Quinn left as Rachel shut her door. the blonde went to Santana and Brittany's door and knocked.

"Come in Quinn." the blonde opened the door and walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed indian style.

"Were you guys busy? I can come back later."

"No, really we were just talking about how our days went, Q. What's up?"

"I need the two of you to tell me how I can give Rachel an orgasm." Santana coughed on the water she'd brought up from the fridge.

"Oh, yay! Are you gonna have sexy times with Rae Rae? You guys move really fast. It took me and San fourteen years of knowing each other before we started doing that. You guys have only known each other for like three years! But yea we'll teach you. Do you want a demonstration? We can do that."

"No just...tomorrow can we maybe talk about it and I can research it myself so I'm ready when we're ready to do that."

"Yea, Q we can do that."

"Ok. Thanks, goodnight guys." Once in the hallway Quinn ran into Rachel.

"Hey, not in bed yet?"

"Unfortunately no. I thought over what we recently conversed about and I couldn't get rid of the thought of us engaging in sexual intercourse and now I can't stop thinking about it and the fact that I won't know what to do when we eventually get to that. It wouldn't bother me but you've been with Noah and Finn and I want...I want to make you feel good like I guess they did and I don't want to disappoint you especially in that department and..." Quinn hugged her girlfriend to her chest and rubbed her back.

"Rachel calm down. We said we weren't ready so we don't have to worry about it for a while. Plus, San and Rach are gonna talk to us about it tomorrow and we can figure it out together for when we're ready. This isn't something we should be worrying too much about right now, okay? What is important is thinking about whether or not you want us to be out like San and Britt come tomorrow and Puck's gig and party. I understand if you don't want to. I'll be fine with that." Rachel thought about it and realized she didn't want to hide that she was lucky enough to be with Quinn. She thought that the blonde probably felt the same way.

"No, I don't want to hide. I'm proud to be with you and I'd be glad to be out and proud with you tomorrow. The only question is what should I wear. Something edgy but still classy. I don't want anyone else paying too much attention. I'm _your_ girl. Not theirs to ogle."

"That you are, Rach. And same for me. I'll help you figure out to wear and you help me, K. Alright, to bed then. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Quinn places a chaste kiss to her girlfriends lips before she walked away and into her guest room.

It was crazy to her to think that just the night before she had been completely positive that no one loved her or cared about her. And today she had her best friends back and the girl she'd not only wanted but needed for three years was finally by her side. It was hard imagining anything she'd ever need besides what she had already been gifted by god. As Quinn slipped into bed, she grabbed the silver cross around her neck and kissed it as her eyes closed.


End file.
